Can We Be Fixed?
by FlyingFree910
Summary: Can Jac and Jonny fix their relationship or is it too far gone for repair. Will Jac let herself be cared for or let Jonny walk away?
1. Chapter 1

_**This is set straight after "Holby's Got Torment". After the BBC destroyed our dreams, we can only hope that Jac reveals all and there is a happy ending. **_  
_**I hope you enjoy.**_

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Sitting in the local pub with Mo, all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows. She slapped me, she literally slapped me. It's always one step forward and one step back for us. I just don't get her problem, one minute she is playing around being all flirty and then she is standing in a corridor lecturing me. I know some of what I said was harsh but she just brings something out of me. Something different to what I know I can bring out in her, when she lets me.

Mo knocks me out of my thoughts when she comes over to the table with the drinks.  
"You need to lighten up Jonny, forget about her and move on", she said.  
"How can I move on from somebody that I love, I can't just walk away but I don't know what to do? We have gone past the breaking point and I can't see us coming back", was my reply.

"Right listen here, she may not be my favourite person in the world but I can see that she does care for you. But something is there, like a shadow, and before you can continue you have to get past that and I don't think that it will happen".  
"You know something I don't, don't you", I questioned Mo. She sighed and took a sip of her drink before she looked at me.  
"Look, she is hiding something, I don't know what but it is something. All I can tell you is that what you said to her earlier may have been a clue as to the reaction you got. Now excuse me, I need a trip to the toilets" and with that Mo walked away.

What did she mean, what I said? I know I made a harsh comment but is there more into that. I obviously hit a nerve otherwise she wouldn't have slapped me. What is it? Stomach cramps, nearly collapsing in theatre, comments about pregnancy, suspected food poisoning. All this thinking has lead me to the conclusion of a miscarriage. It seems the most likely I suppose but is it true. The only way I can find out is ask but that's better said than done. I could see Mo returning, so I quickly downed the rest of my beer and picked up my bag and coat.  
"I'm sorry Mo but I have to go I have to speak with her" and with that I ran out of the pub.

Running up the stairs to Jac's flat, I find myself outside her door breathing heavily. Right this is it, I've come here for answers and I'm not leaving till I get them. Knocking on her door, I take a deep breath and wait but I can hear no movement inside. I wait 5 minutes then try again, sighing I sit down next to her door just as she comes through the landing door."You know if someone doesn't answer their door they probably don't want to or are not in", I sighed, same old Jac. She walked passed me and opened the door but left it open as she walked in. That's an invitation in anyone's books.

I close the door as I enter and place my bag and coat on the floor, walking into the living room I notice Jac sitting incredibly still on the sofa. I walk over there and sit next to her. Sighing again I close my eyes and just wait. What do I say? What do I ask? My eyes shoot open when I feel a cold hand cup my left cheek, I lean towards it as I look at Jac."Is it sore?" she asks. I just shake my head."I'm sorry, I shouldn't have slapped you". I just shake my head again and reached up and grabbed her hand and covered it in both of mine.

"Right you listen here, I want answers and I intend to get them. You need to get off that high horse you're on and give me what I want. I care about you so much Jac but you are really not helping yourself. So what are you going to do? What do you want to do? Because after tonight, if you won't help yourself and tell me everything then I'm just going to walk out of that door and not return and I mean that"

I look up into her eyes and am surprised to find that they are glistening with unshed tears. Maybe I am getting through to her.  
"I am sorry about everything, I really am. I just can't help it. I know it's no excuse but you scare me Jonny, my feelings for you just scare the hell out of me. I just push you away because I can. My mother pushed me away and left and I am so scared that if I get too close to you that it will happen again. I need to be in charge, I have to be so I won't get hurt like that again. But you just had to do it didn't you, make me care, make me love you. "By this time she was speaking so fast that I just had to stop her. I leaned over and kissed her and she responded. It was a battle of dominance until finally she relented. With one final kiss on the lips, I pulled back and looked at her.

"Tell me the truth Jac, just tell me", I held my breath and waited. Regardless of what she had said moments before I waited to be shot down, told to shut up and told of how much of a stupid nurse I was. I just hope she does the opposite.

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_**Please review and let me know what you think. **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here's the final chapter. I hope you enjoy.**_

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"When I was little I wanted a magical fairy wedding with the most handsome prince charming but as I got older I learnt to face reality. Dreams don't come true and neither do happy endings. My mother left me at 12 years old to go off gallivanting around India, I got left in care. No-one wanted a child of my age instead opting for babies or toddlers. I was left alone and I chose to stay alone, if I let someone near me then they would do what my mother did and leave. I learnt to cope the only way possible and that was to bite back. People soon stayed away from me, only approached when needed and I carried on. All I wanted to do was prove myself, prove I was skillful and needed because it was clear my mother didn't need me for she left.

I got qualifications and went into medical school. Was top of my class in everything and pushed my body beyond limits, I didn't care who I walked over as long as I got what I wanted. That didn't change when I came here to Darwin, there was one man, Joseph Byrne, who I stopped from killing himself. Do you know what I did when I found out who his father was, I slept with him. Lord Byrne, Joseph's father. I wanted to further my career and I didn't care who I hurt. What I did to Joseph doesn't amount to the pain I felt when I slept with Sean. I couldn't face you the next day knowing what I did and I just had to run away. I realized that I loved you and I couldn't face the consequences. I destroyed our relationship and that tore me up Jonny.

When I returned you had to be an idiot and take me back didn't you, and for a couple of weeks I was so blissfully happy but that can't happen to me can it. I'm not allowed to be happy. I was having so many thoughts and dreams about moving in with you, a wedding even a christening but all that was put to the back of my mind when I started to have those stomach pains. I didn't know what they were and I was scared. I couldn't tell you, I knew you would be all over you me and I couldn't bear it. All the care, all the love. I haven't had all that before and I didn't know how to cope with it so I closed up, took it out on you.

I found out that the problem was endometrioses. I wanted to tell you I did but my fears wouldn't let me. Why would you want damaged goods? Why would you want a woman which may not be able to give you children? I am so sorry Jonny that I slapped you, I really am. But I just, when you said what you did I flipped. I regretted it as soon as I did but the damage was done. I love you Jonny, I truly do. Please forgive me, I can change. I can try to be all you want me to be but I don't think I can be a mother. If it was up to me I would, I so would for you. I love you, I love you. "When she finished her speech, Jonny pulled her into a deep kiss. Soon the passion heated up and Jac ended up under Jonny on the sofa. Pulling away, Jonny reached up and gently tucked her hair behind her hair and smiled.

"I wouldn't dare leave you alone Jac. From the first moment I met you at the people skills course, you had my heart. I had tasted you and I wanted more. It was fate don't you see, that I ended up at Holby and we started to work together. I have treasured us, all that we have done and I am not prepared to just throw it away. I love you too, you stupid woman. You can always be a mother Jac; you don't have to be pregnant. We can adopt, give someone love and a future. Help someone that was just like you, alone and afraid and give them everything that they could ever need. We can be flat mates, we can be husband and wife, and we can be parents. And let me tell you something, we will be fantastic parents. You just have to trust me, whole heartedly trust me. When I say I love you, I mean it. When I say I care, I mean it. When I say get off your high horse, I mean it. I am solely prepared to start afresh from now. Forget about all the negative things which have happened between us and start a brand new bright future together. Are you prepared?"

"I am Jonny, I really am. Thank you." And with that Jac launched herself at Jonny and soon they were a tangle of limbs. The future may not be certain for this unlikely couple but they would be together and that was all that mattered.

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_**Please review and let me know what you think.**_


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